


Coming to Terms

by mason_adrift



Category: Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, dealing/living with a drug addict, very specific but we wont talk about that haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26110810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mason_adrift/pseuds/mason_adrift
Summary: This is really specific and you could probably guess why.The advice given was something a good friend told me. Living with a relative with an addiction is really hard and I forget that advice sometimes. I wrote this to calm me down, maybe someone going through a similar situation can find comfort in this?
Kudos: 3





	Coming to Terms

**Author's Note:**

> This is really specific and you could probably guess why.  
> The advice given was something a good friend told me. Living with a relative with an addiction is really hard and I forget that advice sometimes. I wrote this to calm me down, maybe someone going through a similar situation can find comfort in this?

I paced the room, my feet pounding with every step. My face was already heated, eyes stinging with tears I wish would just go away. I couldn’t breathe, at this point I don’t think I really wanted to. I just wanted it all to go- I didn’t want to do this anymore. Seeing them like that again-  
“(name)?”  
I stopped with my back facing the door. My fists clenched and I quickly hid them out of his sight. I knew I shouldn’t have come in like this. Once one of them caught sight that I was upset the news spread like wildfire. I should have just stayed outside until I got over it.

“Yeah, hey Wilford.”  
I could hear him coming into the room, not doing his usual jaunt; he was concerned. I didn’t want him to see me like this, not over something so stupid.   
“Is everything alright?” The wilt of his voice always made me even more emotional than I should be, he had such a big heart under all that chaotic nature.  
I shook my head, “Yeah. I’m fine, it’s alright.” It was hopeless trying to hide it at this point; I was too deep in my head just saying that had me crying again. Why the hell did he have to be so nice and thoughtful, the jerk.

I felt a hand on my shoulder clutching onto me softly, “C’mon. We both know you’re not being honest here.” Pushing my face into my hands I let out a sob. Wilford put his arm around me holding me close, “let's sit down, okay?”  
He led me to the edge of the bed, sitting me down. He sat by my side rubbing my back as I continued to sob. As embarrassing as it was for him to see me like this, it was comforting having him there.

Minutes pass and he’s still here. I manage to calm myself enough to talk.  
“I saw them again..” I manage to say.  
“Them?” He thought for a moment then came to a conclusion. “Ah. Addict them.”  
I nodded, wiping the tears off my burning cheeks.   
“Would you like to talk about it?” He asked, putting a hand on my knee. “Believe it or not I have experience with poor saps like those.”  
I force a laugh, “I believe you.”  
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about it, it took a lot to tell him about them in the first place. It wasn’t a pleasant topic, or even one I wanted to think about much these days.

“It’s like they don’t even care anymore Wilford,” I sighed. “After being gone for weeks. I can’t take it- I don’t want to see them like that.”  
I pulled at my hair feeling my chest getting tighter with every breath.  
“You love them. I know it’s hard seeing someone you care about throw their lives away,” He wrapped his arms around me again pulling me close. “But, there’s no use getting worked up over someone like that dear.”  
“But-” I choked on my words holding onto him- “Why? Why the fuck do that shit? It’s just-”  
“I know…” He gently rubbed my shoulder. “People that far into it… it’s hard to get them back. They’re lost… Sometimes they’ll never find their way out of that mess.”

I didn’t want to accept that, but he was right. After so much talk about getting clean it wasn’t going anywhere. Nothing changed. I know it’s definitely hard for them, but for me there was so much back and forth, empty promises and fighting.. So much fighting.  
“It’s not them anymore, not really. You have to understand that,” He said. His voice was soft but the words made me sick.  
“No,” I cried. “I want them to get better. They’ve done it before, they can do it again.”  
“I’m not saying they can’t, dear, but it is their choice.”  
My teeth gritted. Even after everything I was still hoping for the best possible outcome. Still waiting for that day where we’re all happy and they’re clean. Hoping that things will go back to the way they were before.

“You’re a kind soul, I know you want to do something to help them,” He sat me back up and put a hand to my cheek. “But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.”

It was a game of tug o war. One that I could never win. Pulling on the rope only brought me down with them. Pulled me further and further into this false sense of hope. No matter how much I tugged and pulled and pleaded, they kept pulling back. Voluntary or not. They weren’t doing anything to get out of that rut, out of that addiction. They stood their ground, cemented to it.  
William stayed with me until I was done crying. He gave me ice water and tried his best to cheer me up again. I smiled and laughed and eventually I was back with everyone, talking and going on with my life- because that’s what I had to do. 

What he said was true but it didn’t stop me from worrying everyday, scared every phone call was news that they had overdosed and died. I love them, but it hurts. It hurts so much. All I could do at this point was cherish the moments of peace we had together. Moments when they weren’t high or coming down from it.   
It hurts, but I have to move on.

I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.


End file.
